Thursday, April 06, 2006

The Coach Haven

Coach had this place, like some sort of log cabin in the woods, where he would go when things got rough. I don’t remember if it was actually the house that he lived in full time, or if it was just some cabin he owned, but they only showed it when Coach was trying to get away from his football problems or else (in a positive setting) hanging out with Luther and Dauber to fish or something. The cabin was on stilts for some reason, so the establishing shot from outside made it look like it was about 50 feet off the ground, and the main room was like a big circle with, I think, stuffed fish on the walls. It would probably have made sense, given the context, to have some sort of animal trophy on the wall as well, but I don’t remember seeing that and I’m pretty sure that that wasn’t the image the show’s producers wanted to convey about Coach. I mean, he was manly enough to fish and put stuffed fish on his walls, but he wasn’t so barbaric as to hunt deer and moose and other big mammals. This was a good production move and totally didn’t alienate any potential viewers and/or advertisers.

I think probably like, after a big loss or if Coach was worried he might get fired or if he screwed up in the media or something, he would go to the cabin and probably there would be a scene where Coach was sitting there looking at the fire in the cabin and Christine would come in and say: “I knew I’d find you here.” And then Coach would make a self-deprecating joke that showed both a sense of humor and a sense of humility. Then Christine would sit down and say, like, “Hayden,” (that was Coach’s first name) “I know that it’s hard to blah blah blah” and then Coach would listen for a while and then maybe say something strong-headed because he’s a manly sexist football coach that doesn’t want to take any lip from anyone, especially not from some broad who has entered in to his manly fish-trophy haven. Probably he would stand up when he said this and walk around the room a little bit to show that he was serious. Then Christine would also stand up and get right back in Coach’s face and confront his denial but also be compassionate about the situation. Then finally Coach would admit what had gone wrong and there would be a catharsis. Then, when the tasteful music stopped, Coach would say a one-liner referencing something from earlier in the episode and the studio audience would laugh. Then the credits would roll.

Man, that cabin was awesome for solving problems.


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